Fourth Campaign Flash Fiction Challenge
200 words with opening and closing lines (includes the word orange).
__________________
Shadows crept across the wall of the mesa, signaling the end of the heated day. Dulcinea was late, and I had spent the idle afternoon to no avail. What was keeping her?
I edged up the trench side to gain a glimpse of the savannah in the direction she had left two days before. I squinted against the pain of orange sunlight still illuminating the ground beyond the mesa’s shadow.
My meager provisions had been consumed and my water was running low. I would need to leave in the morning, even if Dulcinea didn’t return.
I heard a rustle and a rattle; perhaps my dinner approached. I reached for my bootknife , thinking about sizzling snake meat on an open camp fire. I felt the quick pinch of fangs, like an angry kiss.
Ah, shit. I don’t deserve this. Our adventure had just begun. Our plans were barely set. How would Dulcinea succeed without me at her side?
Funny how breathing goes quiet and the mind wanders. I fell to my knees, unconcerned with the location of the snake. He had done his work. I had few regrets, and couldn’t muster the energy to list the tender mercies. Everything faded.
18 comments:
Oh no! The snake him?
Really great job! I liked how his thought process changed after the snake bit him. Loved it!
I'm entry #19
Thanks for the comments. I tagged you back on your website and on Rachel's site.
ah! hate snakes! great scene!
Snakes ... why did it have to be snakes?
Nice one! :)
*shudder* Snakes. Ugh.
Eek! Nice work, Stella! :)
Oh my - I hate snakes - but I enjoyed your story and your voice. Nice job!
Oooh great job!! I really liked it how the snake came in at the end! Nice work :)
I'm #37
Uh, oh! I guess the snake turned his dinner plans upside down.
I dislike snakes, and eating them is...ewww, but being bitten is worse!
Ah shit indeed. I like the tone of this piece.
Nice blog - love the layout and especially the cool background! Tag! You're it again!! Come visit my blog for the eleven questions I have for you! Love your blog! ~Theresa Sneed author of No Angel and forthcoming From Heaven to Earth http://theresasmallsneed.blogspot.com
I hope Dulcinea stays away.. damm snake will get her too. :) Fun read.
Nicely done. He seems pretty laidback about the whole thing - must be a hardened character!
Interesting. Love the end twist.
Oh, you had me wanting to eat snake for a minute there.
#109
Awww, so sad . . . I've never liked snakes *shudder*.
I'm making my rounds in the Fantasy group at the Campaign, it's good to meet you! Good luck with the challenge!
I may be no big fan of snakes, but I sort of like this one ... it was faster than the one who wanted to eat her :)
(I'm #59)
Post a Comment