Monday, February 20, 2012

Fourth Campaign Flash Fiction Challenge

200 words with opening and closing lines (includes the word orange).
__________________

Shadows crept across the wall of the mesa, signaling the end of the heated day. Dulcinea was late, and I had spent the idle afternoon to no avail. What was keeping her?

I edged up the trench side to gain a glimpse of the savannah in the direction she had left two days before. I squinted against the pain of orange sunlight still illuminating the ground beyond the mesa’s shadow.

My meager provisions had been consumed and my water was running low. I would need to leave in the morning, even if Dulcinea didn’t return.

I heard a rustle and a rattle; perhaps my dinner approached. I reached for my bootknife , thinking about sizzling snake meat on an open camp fire. I felt the quick pinch of fangs, like an angry kiss.

Ah, shit. I don’t deserve this. Our adventure had just begun. Our plans were barely set. How would Dulcinea succeed without me at her side?

Funny how breathing goes quiet and the mind wanders. I fell to my knees, unconcerned with the location of the snake. He had done his work. I had few regrets, and couldn’t muster the energy to list the tender mercies. Everything faded.


18 comments:

Jess said...

Oh no! The snake him?

Really great job! I liked how his thought process changed after the snake bit him. Loved it!

I'm entry #19

Stella Atrium said...

Thanks for the comments. I tagged you back on your website and on Rachel's site.

Tara Tyler said...

ah! hate snakes! great scene!

David P. King said...

Snakes ... why did it have to be snakes?

Nice one! :)

Esther Spurrill-Jones said...

*shudder* Snakes. Ugh.

Carrie Butler said...

Eek! Nice work, Stella! :)

Ann Cory said...

Oh my - I hate snakes - but I enjoyed your story and your voice. Nice job!

Alyssa said...

Oooh great job!! I really liked it how the snake came in at the end! Nice work :)

I'm #37

alexia said...

Uh, oh! I guess the snake turned his dinner plans upside down.

Ashley Nixon said...

I dislike snakes, and eating them is...ewww, but being bitten is worse!

bridgetstraub.com said...

Ah shit indeed. I like the tone of this piece.

Theresa Small Sneed said...

Nice blog - love the layout and especially the cool background! Tag! You're it again!! Come visit my blog for the eleven questions I have for you! Love your blog! ~Theresa Sneed author of No Angel and forthcoming From Heaven to Earth http://theresasmallsneed.blogspot.com

Kevin Hiatt said...

I hope Dulcinea stays away.. damm snake will get her too. :) Fun read.

Nick Wilford said...

Nicely done. He seems pretty laidback about the whole thing - must be a hardened character!

Traci Kenworth said...

Interesting. Love the end twist.

Gwen said...

Oh, you had me wanting to eat snake for a minute there.

#109

Rebekah Loper said...

Awww, so sad . . . I've never liked snakes *shudder*.

I'm making my rounds in the Fantasy group at the Campaign, it's good to meet you! Good luck with the challenge!

Treelight said...

I may be no big fan of snakes, but I sort of like this one ... it was faster than the one who wanted to eat her :)

(I'm #59)

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